One Voice

… because one voice, armed with the truth, can help begin to heal the world.

So what’s the deal, is it present or past?

What is reality?

I think the first time I heard that question was about 40 years ago on a Firesign Theatre album, but I have been dealing with it recently in a book I have been reading to my wife at night. Brian Greene’s “The Fabric of the Cosmos” has old non-scientific me thinking a lot more about science than I have since the last time I took a science class in the spring of 1978. I believe it was Chemistry then, but this is Physics.

An interesting book

Anyway, the part of this book that we’ve gotten through so far has dealt with space, time and spacetime.

Greene essentially seems to be saying there’s really no such thing as the past, and there’s barely a present since every moment we’re in the present disappears as soon as the next one comes along. I know I’m oversimplifying right here — what else could I do — but I’m in way over my head.

Except when it comes to the past.

When it comes to the past, I’m a big advocate of Bill Faulkner, who wrote that “the past isn’t dead. In fact, it isn’t even past.”

Greene writes that with spacetime being what it is, “If you were having a great time on New Years Eve 1999, you are still having a great time on New Year’s Eve 1999.”

So does that mean it’s still April 1970 and I’m dating Shelley Marcus and reading the first issue of the National Lampoon?

How’s that for a segue? I just received the DVD-ROM containing every one of the 246 issues of the Lampoon, and I’ve been wading through the first few issues, laughing at stuff I haven’t seen in nearly 40 years.

Ain’t time wacky?

***

Just for the record, I walked again today, eight miles through the countryside outside McDonough. It’s odd because I haven’t really found a route I want to repeat over and over again, but I have exercised five days in a row now and that’s worth something.

Or am I still exercising?

Go away, Brian Greene.

posted by Mike in books,Comedy,Exercise,Health and have Comment (1)

Getting rid of headaches can be fun

My old friend Mick Curran, who has been my friend since he was a little Mexican boy in 1965, e-mailed me the other day to see how I was doing down here Deep in the Heart.

Old Gringo

I told him I couldn’t complain — I try, but no one listens — and that things were going reasonably well in my efforts to get rid of the 50-60 pounds of ugly fat I’ve been lugging around.

He said he has been suffering from migraines.

I was very sympathetic. Been there, done that. I gave him the advice my doctor once gave me in dealing with those nasty headaches.

He told me that he had a sure-fire way to get rid of them. He said whenever he got a migraine, he would go home, undress, go into a dark bedroom and put his head between his wife’s breasts until the headache went away.

It sounded like good advice, so I tried it.

When I saw him two weeks later, he asked me if his advice had helped at all.

“Doc,” I said. “It was great. Worked like a charm. And by the way, you have a beautiful house.”

posted by Mike in Friends,Health,humor and have No Comments

Where do all the words eventually go?

It’s funny how language changes over the years, how some words go from innocuous to slightly naughty or vice versa.

I’m reminded of the old story from about a hundred years ago, when a father called his son in to talk about language.

“Son, there are two words I want you never to use.”

“What are they?”

“They’re lousy and swell.”

“Fine, what are they?”

When I was a kid, the word “gay” meant happy. As I have aged, it has come to mean a different kind of happy.

Scouts in Bondage

I was reading Huffington Post the other day when I saw a fascinating humor piece about the 11 unintentionally funniest sex titles. Of course nearly all of them are older books, and the one called “Drummer Dick’s Discharge” looks like it might be close to a hundred years old.

Another uses the word “boner” in its older meaning as a mistake or a joke, and yet another plays off what used to be a fairly common name for cats.

As for the one pictured here, I have no idea what the meaning of “bondage” was that could have worked in a regular story about boy scouts. All I can say is, during my days as an assistant scoutmaster for my Eagle Scout son, there was never anything remotely resembling bondage.

Hey, I’m a 60-year-old straight white guy, and even though I’ve got a pretty good sense of humor, it took me a while to catch on to words like “bad” and “phat.”

It’s like somebody told me back in 1970. Hip expressions usually start in the black community, then move to white college kids. Eventually white high school kids start using them and then they make their final pilgrimage to use by rednecks.

That’s why 30 years after I first heard the expression, “Right on,” it was huge in the redneck community.

That seems both swell and lousy to me.

posted by Mike in Comedy and have No Comments

Not everything can be found on Internet

I’m disappointed.

I had actually started to believe you could find anything on the Internet.

Back in the ’70s, I think it was, I saw an amazing cartoon in Playboy. Maybe the funniest one-panel cartoon I have ever seen in my life. It showed a young boy coming home from school. He’s in the kitchen doorway and he sees his mother laying back on the kitchen table with the milkman on top of her, doing what comes naturally.

The kid’s response was classic:

“Hey, we eat on that table!”

I thought about it yesterday for the first time in maybe 30 years. Just remembering it made me laugh, and I was hoping to find it on the ‘net so that I could share it with you.

No luck, though.

I’m disappointed.

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posted by Mike in Comedy and have No Comments
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